Tag: words

Conflict Resolution

Posted on by Rob Collins in Messages

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

This verse in Romans 12:18 has always been intriguing to me. However, I feel that it is very appropriate to share today since we are just a week out from having celebrated Thanksgiving in the United States and, just a few weeks away from celebrating Christmas and New Year’s. The reason that I feel that this verse is appropriate, especially for this time of year, is because this is the time of year when we are around people that we may never be around any other time of the year, except for these special occasions that we celebrate together as family and friends. This verse is intriguing to me because if you break it down, it’s obviously about living at peace with everyone! But, it doesn’t start out with that declaration. It starts out by saying, if it is possible. And then it says, as much as it depends on you! So is Paul saying that it may not be possible? And is he also saying, but if it is possible, then do everything that you can that is dependent upon you to live at at peace with everyone and for it to actually happen. Therefore, if you can, do everything that you can, that is dependent upon you to live at peace with everyone!

Also notice that he says, everyone! Not just those people that you like or that you get along with naturally, but everyone. That means even those difficult, antagonizing and challenging people in your life. Anyway, part of the equation of living at peace with everyone will be navigating through being offended, being disappointed, being frustrated, mutual disagreements with one another and dealing with strong opinions and condescending comments. And, another part of making it possible and doing everything that you can to live at peace with everyone will be- engaging in loving, constructive conversations, while learning the art of conflict resolution. Conflict Resolution is defined as: a way for two or more parties to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among themselves. The disagreement may be personal, financial, political, relational or emotional. When a dispute arises, often the best course of action is negotiation to resolve the disagreement. However, this takes love, courage and wisdom to navigate through the process, while coming to a successful and peaceful resolve for everyone involved. So, if it is possible and as much as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone!

Here Are 10 Ways to Know That You Desire Conflict Resolution:

  1. When you want to resolve the issue of conflict more than you want to prove your point or be right.
  2.  When you want to hear what’s being said- more than you want to be heard.
  3. When you are more concerned with bringing a resolution to the conflict, than you are with being right or winning the argument.
  4. When the other person’s need is greater than your ego.
  5. When you listen, and truly hear what the other person is saying.
  6. When you’re wrong, and you recognize it. 
  7. When you’re in the wrong and you admit it.
  8. When you stop saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong way, for the wrong reason just to prove a point.
  9. When you don’t talk until you have something that is worth hearing.
  10. When you consider how the other person feels,  above how you may be feeling.

The Greatest of These…

Posted on by Rob Collins in 2 Minute Take Away, Blog, Messages, Videos

Click Text for Short Video Clip: the greatest is love

When you say nothing at all…

Do you ever feel like your words are not being heard? Have you ever felt like what you say isn’t making a difference? Whether you speak or whether you are silent; both must be done in love. We should all have a desire to speak the truth, but even the truth has to be spoken in love! However when we are silent most of the time it is done for manipulation through pouting. In Luke 19 Zacchaeus climbs a tree to see Jesus. When Jesus looks up and sees him He tells him to come down because He needs to go to his house today.

Zacchaeus was a crooked tax collector who cheated people out of money. Jesus knew it and Zacchaeus knew it, but nothing was ever spoken. And without one word “spoken” he repents and the fruit is restitution. He not only says he was wrong he tells Jesus he will give back with interests what he has stolen from the people.

Jesus never said a word about what Zacchaeus should or shouldn’t do or for that matter what he had  or hadn’t done. Zacchaeus repented without Jesus saying a word!  Moved by the audacity of Jesus’ undeserved love and acceptance, Zacchaeus publicly repented of his acts of corruption and vowed to make restitution for them, and held a feast at his house. I want you to know love is a two way street. Jesus received Zacchaeus just the way he was but Zacchaeus received Jesus into his home. Love has to be given, but it also must be received.

There is a lot of talk about law and love, grace and truth, love and grace. I want you to note Jesus never said anything about Zacchaeus’ wrongdoings but Jesus also never tried too justify what he had done as being ok. Jesus never said, “Thats o.k. Zacchaeus you don’t have to give back what you have taken.” No. He allowed him freedom but He also allowed him the opportunity to repent and be changed. It’s both! Love and grace, law and love, grace and truth.

Sometimes love speaks, sometimes love is silent, sometimes love presents the truth, but no matter how our actions are displayed it should always be done in love! If your words or silence are not done in love they will sound like a “*clanging cymbal” to the person who is receiving them. (*I Corinthians 13)

The way to know your speaking more “truth” than “love”:

1. When you want to prove your point more than resolve the issue.

2. When you want to be heard more than you want to hear.

3. When you want to be right more than you want a resolve.

4. When your ego is more important than the person’s need.

5. When you listen but don’t hear.

6. When your wrong but don’t recognize it.

7. When you are in the wrong but don’t admit it.

8. When you say the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong way.

9. When you talk so much people don’t value what you do say when you say something worth hearing.

10. When you consider how you feel more than how others feel.

Many of us speak the truth, but not in love. We speak more truth than love. Speak the truth, but do so in love. Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don’t be mean!

Blown Away

Posted on by Rob Collins in Messages

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“Blown Away”
Luke 1:5-80

I was sowing grass seed with the wind blowing and the seed was blowing away as I was sowing it. As I was sowing the seed I was hearing in my spirit these words: “Sometimes we are left chasing our blessings because our words are blowing them away.” Our words (breath-wind) blow the seed away before it takes root. Could it be that God has blessings for us that we blow away with the breath of our words of negativity and doubt?

I usually read the passages dealing with the birth of Christ and the “Christmas story” during the season of Christmas. The stories of Mary and Joseph, Zechariah and Elizabeth and so on. However I began to read this story of Zechariah in Luke with a different perspective after hearing the words in my spirit: “Sometimes we are left chasing our blessings because our words are blowing them away.”

In this story the Angel of The Lord comes to Zechariah and tells him that he has came from the presence of God where God has seen he and Elizabeth’s faithfulness and has heard their prayer. And Zechariah doesn’t  say, “wonderful” or “awesome” or “great.” He doesnt even say, “Hallelujah” or “thank you, Jesus.”

Zechariah said, “How can I be sure of this?”

Don’t we all feel like Zechariah sometimes? We cannot always be sure of things. Not even those things we can touch, feel, or measure: emotions, circumstances, situations or feelings. Sometimes we just have to trust that because God said it, it will happen. (That’s the best way anyway, right?)

Zechariah asked the angel, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.” The angel answered, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their proper time.” (Luke 1:18-20 NIV)

We look at what we can see, touch and feel. Our assurance comes from what we know and not what we can’t see. In these passage it is interesting because the angel of  The Lord spoke to Mary as well and Mary said, “how can this be, I am a virgin?” And the Angel of the Lord said, “with men things are impossible, but with God all things are possible.” And Mary said, “Let it be so.” Zechariah said, “how can this be?” And Mary said, “how can this be?” It seems human nature is to doubt and to confess our doubt.

Here’s the question: If God can make a woman who’s womb is old bring forth life, and send an Angel to deliver the good news then why can’t He overcome some negative words, and a little unbelief? Because words are powerful and words matter. They are the confession of our faith and the thoughts of our heart. They bring things to pass and they bring matters into reality. Words are powerful and words matter.

Why Do Words Matter?

1. Words matter because they have the power of life and death in them. 

2. Words matter because what you say is heard. (by God, self, the devil & others).

3. Words matter because once you speak them they can’t be taken back.

4. Words matter because what you say someone will believe.

5.Words matter because they can cast doubt.

6. Words matter because they can cause discouragement.

7. Words matter because they can hinder or help someone else.

8. Words matter because what you say can cause things to not happen.

9. Words matter because what you say could, and usually does happen.

10. Words matter because what you say will have to be agreed or disagreed upon. *(God-others – self)

*God is looking for something to come into agreement with and it usually is our confession- the words of our mouth! (faith – belief – confidence – trust)

Don’t allow negative thoughts and words to blow your blessing away, ask God for the grace to be silent when needed; Ask Him for the wisdom to discern when to speak up, and when to be silent because words matter.