Choice- everything begins and ends with a choice. Adam and Eve the beginning of all creation and humanity had a choice. Do you ever wish you had a chance to redo a choice knowing what you know now? Me too! Do you think Adam and Eve wish the could have a do over? Everything thing that has happened in my life comes down to a choice! Either a choice that I have made or a choice that someone else has made. So what do you do? You can’t go back and change what has been done— you can’t make right every wrong, only God can do that! The only thing you have the power over is right now and what happens from here on out. So what do you do? You pray for the grace and wisdom to steward the choices you have been given, with courage and wisdom. And, you trust God to some how work it all for your good! I always think about Joseph when it comes to God working all things for my good. Joseph had a choice. He could have pouted in the pit, pleaded his case at Potiphar’s house and protested at the prison. Instead he was able to promise provision to the people that had caused him problems all while living in the promise and provision of the palace! It was his posture and his choice that dictated the outcome for him and for everyone else. You have a choice— you can get bitter or you can better. And you have a choice— you can take matters into your own hands or— you can trust God!
Talk to the other person with respect. Don’t be condescending, critical or condemning. And don’t use sarcasm or cynicism to prove a point. Show mutual respect and treat them how you would want to be treated.
Don’t yell or raise your voice the entire time. You are usually better to lower your voice than you are to continuously raise your voice. The louder you yell, the louder the other person gets. Learn to lower your voice and it will deescalate the emotions involved and help dictate the mood of the conversation. It will also help determine what’s being said and what’s being heard.
Don’t constantly interrupt the other person. First of all, if you are constantly interrupting, you are probably not truly listening and if you are not truly listening, then you are not showing respect and it will be more difficult and take longer to come to a mutual resolve.
Show mutual appreciation and consideration for the other person by how you listen and by what you say— and in the way that you say it. Don’t use sarcasm, roll your eyes or sigh. Be kind and considerate in your gestures, facial expressions and tone of voice.
Don’t insult or name call or constantly blame the other person. When you are in a conflict with someone it is so easy to talk down to them— but don’t do it!
Learn to compromise. Compromise is about give and take. It’s about giving up and gaining back. You can’t always be right and you won’t always get what you want in regard to relational resolutions. Compromise is about forfeiting what you want— for what’s best.
Always be working toward a mutual resolve. It’s not about winning the argument— it’s about settling the disagreement and coming to a mutual resolve that’s good for everyone involved.
Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1
1. Learn to forgive and realize that you have already been forgiven.
“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others.”
Matt. 6:14-15 MSG
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Col. 3:13 TEV
2. Learn to have constructive conversations.
You must put away every kind of bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and evil, slanderous talk. Instead, a be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. Ephesians 4:31 NET
Words kill, words give life;
they’re either poison or fruit– you choose.
Prov. 18:21 MSG
3. Learn to encourage others.
The sovereign Lord has given me the capacity to be his spokesman,
so that I know how to help the weary.
He wakes me up every morning;
he makes me alert so I can listen attentively as disciples do. Is. 50:4 NET
When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.
Rom. 1:12 NLT
“So continue encouraging each other and building each other up, just like you are doing already.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 CEB
4. Learn the art of not complaining [especially about the things that you permit].
Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. Phil. 2:14-15 ESV
5. Learn to keep your word and to be honest.
Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Col. 3:9 NLT
A good name is more desirable than great wealth. Respect is better than silver or gold. Prov. 22:1 GWT
6. Learn to be kind.
May God pour out His love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you, just as it does from us to you.
I Thess. 3:12
“Don’t let any foul words come out of your mouth. Only say what is helpful when it is needed for building up the community so that it benefits those who hear what you say. Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting, and slander, along with every other evil. Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ.” Ephesians 4:29, 31-32 CEB
7. Learn to live out “the golden rule”. [do unto others as you would have them do to you.]
Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Rom. 12:10 MSG
“Therefore, you should treat people in the same way that you want people to treat you.” Matthew 7:12 CEB
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had toward you. Phil. 2:3-5 ESV
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
Gal. 6:10 ESV
8. Learn to NOT argue about things that don’t matter or to feed an argumentative spirit.
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. II Cor. 10:5 ESV
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18 NIV
9. Learn to resolve unresolved issues.
Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry– but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
Eph. 4:26-27 MSG
10. Learn all the facts before you come to an assumption or conclusion.
When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. Acts 16:27 ESV
11. Learn to build bridges and not walls.
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.
Prov. 3:27 ESV
“And neither will I walk off and leave you. That would be a sin against God! I’m staying right here at my post praying for you and teaching you the good and right way to live.” I Sam. 12:23 MSG
Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
Eph. 4:23 MSG
12. Learn to concentrate on what truly matters.
For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:3 NLT
Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.
I Corinthians 15:58
You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:14-17 ESV
Peace With Others and Live at Peace With Yourself?
“Now may the God of perseverance and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another in accordance with Christ Jesus.” Romans 15:5
How Do You Strive to Make
Peace? You find a way by figuring out what it takes to make it work!
Learn to celebrate instead of always being critical— *(a critical spirit is debilitating, but an encouraging word can be liberating).
Learn to speak the right language at the appropriate time— *(Words matter and timing and tone matters).
Don’t complain about what you allow and don’t tolerate what you could confront— *(Deal with what needs dealt with in a timely and appropriate manner).
Don’t excuse what should be expressed— *(Say it, if it needs said, but say it in love!).
Destroy assumptions, perceptions and feelings by having those tough conversations— *(Crucial conversations are crucial in regard to conflict resolution).
Learn to concede and to compromise— *(What’s best may not be what I think, feel or want).
Learn to give and take, and to LET IT GO— *(If it’s always about you, you will never have peace).
It’s not about winning; it’s about working it out— *( If you have to win every argument and conquer every battle, you will never have true peace).
Don’t keep things stirred up that need to die down— *(Don’t make what is not a big deal a big deal and quit talking about it!).
Don’t walk away from what you you were meant to walk through— *(You won’t have peace if you are living in regret— face what needs faced).
Seek first to understand- before being understood— *(Chinese proverb, but good advice).
Deal with what needs to be dealt with and let go of what you can’t change— *(Again, let it go and remember, don’t let what you can’t control or change to affect you in a negative way).
***Peace is an atmosphere that is produced by proper patterns that embody a Spirit-Led and Christ-Centered life.
“There is a right time for everything. Everything that we do on the earth has a proper time.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 EASY
“Time doesn’t ask for your permission as it passes by— it asks for your attention— so that you can prioritize what matters the most!”
I want you to know today that what you prioritize matters and what you invest your time in is important. And, the good news is— you get to choose! Everyone of us get 24 hours in a day and 365 days in year.
However, what you don’t make a priority won’t be. I’ve learned that why you don’t intentionally prioritize probably won’t happen. You have to intentionally make room for what matters the most.
You see, most of us don’t need more time, we just need more selective priorities and more intentional boundaries. We need to prioritize our time and give our attention to what we value.
Priorities and boundaries are what guard and grow the time that you’ve been given. They help protect your time and make it last longer and mean more.
What’s a priority for you? Maybe it’s making money? Maybe it’s family? Maybe it’s a career? Maybe it’s a friendship or your faith?
No matter what your priority is— what you make time for gets your attention and what you make a priority will become just that!
However, time is different than money— you can’t earn it or make more of it. You can only invest it and yield its personal dividends, so spend it wisely.
Invest in those people and those things that mean the most to you— those things that you value. That’s where the dividends will come from, so don’t waste your time on what you don’t value.
You only have the time that you have been allotted. How you invest your time will determine the dividends that you yield and it will create the experiences that you experience.
What you prioritize will reveal what you value the most. And what you invest your time in will determine what you experience. You will either receive in return a lasting memory or a lingering regret.
Therefore, don’t allow those things that don’t matter to rob your joy or to steal your peace. Don’t allow those little trivial distractions to detour you or to distract you from those things that truly matter.
We have all said, “Man, that was a waste of time!” Or maybe you’ve said, “Wow, I’m sure glad that I made time for that!” Learn from that and be intentional moving forward.
Focus your time and energy on what you desire to experience and give your time and attention to those things and to those people that truly matter to you.
*Remember: “Time doesn’t ask for your permission as it passes by— it asks for your attention— so that you can prioritize what matters the most!”
Time is something that you can never get back and it is something that you can never make more of.
You can only invest it in those people and in those things that you choose, so spend it wisely on those things and people that matter the most!
