“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
— Colossians 3:13
Trials, disappointments, and even offenses can become opportunities for God to refine our faith and strengthen us. 1 Peter 1:7 reminds us that genuine faith is tested and purified like gold in a fire.
Don’t allow an offense to become an obstacle in your moving forward.
Don’t allow what someone did—or what happened to you—to keep you from experiencing new beginnings, healthy relationships, new experiences, new opportunities, and new endeavors.
You may not be able to control the offense, but you can choose whether you carry it with you.
Forgive. Heal. Learn. Grow. Move forward.
And most importantly, don’t allow yesterday’s offense to steal today’s joy, tomorrow’s hope, or your peace along the way.
“As leaders, parents, and spouses sometimes we have to know what others don’t know, do what others won’t do, and see what others can’t see.” This can at times become a “silent burden”.
I use the word “burden” loosely. However, it starts with the same syllable as “blessing” and I think it’s a good word picture to describe what I am trying to illustrate.
Again, I’m talking about “Blessing or Burden You Choose!”
You have probably heard me say this many times— “don’t allow a blessing to become a burden.” However, for this not to happen, you must be intentional and continually mindful—you also must become more grateful!
You’ve all heard the phrase “The honeymoon wore off.” This phrase describes the excitement of something new beginning to fade, and familiarity taking its place. That’s when gratitude must become a choice.
When this happens you must become intentional about recognizing the value of what you have before familiarity causes you to overlook it.
Gratitude teaches us to see ordinary blessings with fresh eyes and to appreciate again what we may have stopped noticing.
That’s when “gratitude has to become intentional.” When this happens you move from the feeling of gratitude to the practice of gratitude.
And “When the honeymoon wears off, you must become intentional about being grateful.” Being grateful about what you already have.
That’s because it is so easy to take the everyday things for granted! The blessings that surround us every day become commonplace and we forget to be grateful for them.
The following could be substituted for many areas of our lives, but these scenarios below are simple, yet practical areas that help illustrate my point.
Think about this . . .
We complain about traffic (traffic circles) because we have a car.
We complain about laundry because we have clothes.
We complain about doing the dishes because we ate.
We complain about cutting the grass because we have property.
We complain about packing because we get to travel.
We complain about taxes because we earned.
We complain about our job because we have one.
We complain about a full inbox because people need us and we have problems that only we can solve.
We complain about noise because we have a family and friends.
We complain about exercise because our bodies move.
We complain about wrinkles because we have lived.
We complain about gray hair because we have made it this far.
We complain about change because we are growing.
It is all a matter of perspective, and changing your perspective can help produce gratefulness and gratefulness can in turn cause you to see things differently!
What if instead of complaining about traffic (traffic circles)—we were grateful that we have a car.
What if instead of complaining about laundry—we were grateful we have clothes.
What if instead of complaining about doing the dishes—we were grateful because we ate.
What if instead of complaining about cutting the grass—we were grateful because we have property.
What if instead of complaining about packing—we were grateful because we get to travel.
What if instead of complaining about taxes—we were grateful because we have earned.
What if instead of complaining about our job—we were grateful because we have one.
What if instead of complaining about a full inbox—we were grateful because people need us and we have problems to solve.
What if instead of complaining about noise—we were grateful because we have a family and friends.
What if instead of complaining about exercise—we were grateful because our bodies move.
What if instead of complaining about wrinkles—we were grateful because we have lived.
What if instead of complaining about gray hair—we were grateful because we have made it this far.
What if instead of complaining about change—we were grateful because we are growing.
Psalm 103:2—“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.”
David is essentially telling himself, Don’t forget what God has done. Gratitude requires intentional remembrance.
1 Thessalonians 5:18—“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
This takes gratitude beyond a feeling and into a practice. “Giving thanks and being grateful” is an intentional action.
Being grateful is a matter of perspective—changing your perspective will help produce gratefulness and gratefulness will in time cause you to see things differently!
Boundaries are not about being hateful or selfish. However, they are beneficial in terms of living a happy, healthy, prosperous and productive life. Time is precious and boundaries help protect the time we have been given. Time is a commodity that we can’t gain back.
“Time doesn’t wait for your permission as it passes by—it seeks your attention to prioritize what matters most.”
Psalms 90:12 says, “Teach us how short our lives are so that we can become wise.”
One of the ways that we can become wise and make the most of our lives is by setting healthy boundaries.
– A boundary is a personal property line.
– Boundaries help define who you are and they make it clear what you prioritize.
– Boundaries help define what you value.
– Boundaries determine who and what you allow into your life.
– Boundaries help define who and what you are responsible for.
– Boundaries are beneficial in every area and aspect of your life.
– Boundaries create safe healthy parameters.
The difference between a swamp and a river is banks—and those banks are boundaries.
The difference between a “mess” and “momentum” is usually healthy and intentional boundaries.
*Most of the time we don’t want to set boundaries because we don’t won’t to appear as being insensitive, mean or selfish.
Nonetheless, in Matthew 14 Jesus shows us that it is not mean, hateful or insensitive to set boundaries. The passage tells us, that after He had fed them, blessed them and taught them—He sent them away.
Boundaries are beneficial and they help prioritize what matters the most.
Boundaries Impact All Areas of Our Life:
1. Physical boundaries help determine who touches you and who is in your personal space and under what circumstances.
2. Mental boundaries give you the freedom to have your our own thoughts and opinions.
3. Emotional boundaries help you deal with your own emotions and disengage from the harmful manipulative emotions of others.
4. Spiritual boundaries help you distinguish God’s will from your own and from others. They will give you a freedom from your Creator and Maker that will establish peace and liberation.
Can you see why boundaries are so important now?
Boundaries deal with every area of our lives.
What You Need to Realize
About Boundaries
1. You can set boundaries and still be a loving and kind person.
2. Boundaries that are legitimate still need to be established with wisdom and in balance.
3. Boundaries aren’t selfish; because they can truly benefit everyone involved.
Most of us don’t need more time, we just need more selective priorities and more intentional boundaries.
Priorities and boundaries are what guard and grow the time that you’ve been given. They help protect you and your time.
“Teach us how short our lives are so that we can become wise.” Psalms 90:12
One of the ways that we gain wisdom and make the most of our lives is by setting healthy boundaries.
Lord, give us the wisdom and the courage to be intentional about creating healthy boundaries that will benefit everyone—amen.
“A father is tender and kind to his children. In the same way, the Lord is tender and kind to those who have respect for him. He knows what we are made of. He remembers that we are dust. The life of human beings is like grass. People grow like the flowers in the field. When the wind blows on them, they are gone. No one can tell that they had ever been there. But the Lord’s love for those who have respect for him lasts for ever and ever. Their children’s children will know that he always does what is right.” Psalm 103:13-17
“Later, Jesus went to Jerusalem for a special Jewish festival. In Jerusalem there is a pool with five covered porches. In Aramaic it is called Bethzatha. This pool is near the Sheep Gate. Many sick people were lying on the porches beside the pool. Some of them were blind, some were crippled, and some were paralyzed. One of the men lying there had been sick for 38 years. Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been sick for a very long time. So he asked him, “Do you want to be well?” The sick man answered, “Sir, there is no one to help me get into the water when it starts moving. I try to be the first one into the water. But when I try, someone else always goes in before I can.” Then Jesus said, “Stand up! Pick up your mat and walk.” Immediately the man was well. He picked up his mat and started walking. The day all this happened was a Sabbath day. So some Jews said to the man who had been healed, “Today is the Sabbath. It is against our law for you to carry your mat on the Sabbath day.””
You are uniquely and wonderfully made. You were created on purpose, for a purpose. You have meaning, value and worth!
Once upon a time, some animals wanted to start a school. They decided the courses would include running, climbing, swimming, and flying. Then they decided that all of the animals should take all of the courses.
That’s where the problem started.
The duck was better than his teacher at swimming, but he only made passing grades in flying and was very poor in running. So they made him drop swimming and stay after school to practice running. This caused his webbed feet to be badly worn, and his grade dropped to average in swimming. But everybody felt less threatened and more comfortable with that—except the duck.
The rabbit started at the top of his class in running, but because of so much makeup work in swimming, he caught pneumonia and had to drop out of school.
The squirrel showed outstanding ability in climbing, but he was extremely frustrated in flying class because the teacher insisted that he start from the ground up rather than the treetop down. He developed charley horses from overextension, so he only got a “C” in climbing and a “D” in running.
The eagle was the problem student and was disciplined for being a nonconformist. For instance, in climbing class he beat all the others to the top of the tree, but he insisted on flying to get there. Finally, because he refused to participate in swimming class, he was expelled.
As you might imagine, the animals’ school didn’t work.
Different animals are designed to excel in specific areas, and they can’t be expected to do all the other things. A duck is made to be a duck—not anything else.
It’s the same for people. God has designed each person different from all the others. When you expect everyone to fit in the same mold, the result is frustration, discouragement, mediocrity, and failure.
It’s so easy to compare ourselves to someone else. This creates either pride or feelings of low self esteem.
It’s so easy to get frustrated. I get frustrated with you because you’re not like me and I get frustrated with myself because I’m not like you.
Or we experience the Imposter Syndrome-we are familiar with this and have in some form or the other felt or experienced this.
However, Ephesians says that we are the workmanship of God created beforehand for good works.
Workmanship is where we get our word—poem. It signifies a work of art. It as if when you were born God picked up a pen and started writing your life story or started painting a picture of what your life was going to be.
You are a unique masterpiece. You are a unique creation.
No one else is exactly like you.
It’s your shape that makes you uniquely you.
S-strengths: what you have developed over time that you are good at.
H-heart: what you desire, what is important to you, what you hold near and dear and value.
A-abilities: what you are good at that comes naturally.
P-personality: your basic nature, how and why you do what you do.
E-experience: what you have encountered that has now become something that you have built upon.
Don’t dare compare—you are a unique masterpiece—you be you!
“If the ax is dull, And one does not sharpen the edge, Then he must use more strength; But wisdom brings success.”
—Ecclesiastes 10:10
Most of us, if we were to chop wood, probably wouldn’t use an ax. Maybe a chainsaw and wood splitter, but probably not an ax.
However, the analogy in Ecclesiastes 10 is not just about an ax, I believe it’s a metaphor about us and us being dull instead of being sharp. It’s about how it takes more effort when we lose our edge.
Being sharp helps cut through resistance quicker! It also makes us sharper for the daily routines of life.
The word dull simple means, “lacking.” Have you ever felt like that you have lacked wisdom, lacked vision, lacked creativity, lacked imagination, lacked good judgement, lacked confidence, or lacked compassion. Me too.
The realization alone should demand a change. It should initiate a reset.
Nevertheless, there is another word that stuck out to me in this verse as well. That word is wisdom. Wisdom means: good sense, skill and prudence.
Prudence means: the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason.
Another words, wisdom makes me aware that I’m dull. It allows me to realize that I’ve lost my edge. And, it will give me the ability to govern myself in order to do something about it! And ultimately, over time, this will bring with it success.
Here’s the problem with the ax being dull, you don’t know it is dull until you begin to use it. And, you don’t realize that you’ve lost your edge until you begin to engage in something that demands intentional effort.
Nonetheless, when you do realize it, you need to stop chopping and start sharpening. Step away and refresh, reflect, refocus, reset, and realign.
What happens when you become dull? What happens when you lose your focus? What happens when you lose your edge?
– Work gets harder and tasks take more energy.
– You don’t have the strength to put forth the effort that is needed.
– Things become a bigger deal and you feel overwhelmed.
– Your mind consistently drifts and you lose focus easily.
– Frustration becomes inevitable because goals appear unattainable.
So, what do you do?
Reflect (think about where you are and what got you to this point) → Realign → Refocus → Readjust
1. Realign – Get back in the right direction.
2. Refocus – Fix your attention on what matters most.
3. Readjust – Make the changes needed to move forward effectively.
* Pause. Realign. Refocus. Readjust.
* Realign your heart. Refocus your mind. Readjust your actions.
* Realign your priorities. Refocus your purpose. Readjust your path.
Sharpening an ax and chopping with an ax requires two different postures:
* You stand to chop, but you sit to sharpen.
* You react while chopping, but you become intentional while sharpening.
* You keep moving when you chop, but you pause when you sharpen.
Chopping gets the work done for today; sharpening prepares you for the work ahead.
The challenge is that most people make time to chop but never take time to sharpen.
You have to step away from the routine of the process in order to sharpen the edge.
When you pause to rest, reflect, learn, and grow, you become more effective in every area of life.
Sharpening may feel like you’re losing ground, but it’s actually preparing you to move farther, faster, and with greater impact.
Take time for yourself and sharpen your edge. It will make everything easier, and in time you will achieve greater success.
A degree here, a step there, a little extra effort each day—and eventually you look back and realize those “little things” have shaped your entire life.
Never underestimate the power of consistent, quiet contributions. Tiny shifts today can create a completely different tomorrow.
