Author: Rob Collins

Choice- everything begins and ends with a choice. Adam and Eve the beginning of all creation and humanity had a choice. Do you ever wish you had a chance to redo a choice knowing what you know now? Me too! Do you think Adam and Eve wish the could have a do over? Everything thing that has happened in my life comes down to a choice! Either a choice that I have made or a choice that someone else has made. So what do you do? You can’t go back and change what has been done— you can’t make right every wrong, only God can do that! The only thing you have the power over is right now and what happens from here on out. So what do you do? You pray for the grace and wisdom to steward the choices you have been given, with courage and wisdom. And, you trust God to some how work it all for your good! I always think about Joseph when it comes to God working all things for my good. Joseph had a choice. He could have pouted in the pit, pleaded his case at Potiphar’s house and protested at the prison. Instead he was able to promise provision to the people that had caused him problems all while living in the promise and provision of the palace! It was his posture and his choice that dictated the outcome for him and for everyone else. You have a choice— you can get bitter or you can better. And you have a choice— you can take matters into your own hands or— you can trust God!

How You Resolve Conflict Properly:

Talk to the other person with respect. Don’t be condescending, critical or condemning. And don’t use sarcasm or cynicism to prove a point. Show mutual respect and treat them how you would want to be treated.

Don’t yell or raise your voice the entire time. You are usually better to lower your voice than you are to continuously raise your voice. The louder you yell, the louder the other person gets. Learn to lower your voice and it will deescalate the emotions involved and help dictate the mood of the conversation. It will also help determine what’s being said and what’s being heard.

Don’t constantly interrupt the other person. First of all, if you are constantly interrupting, you are probably not truly listening and if you are not truly listening, then you are not showing respect and it will be more difficult and take longer to come to a mutual resolve.

Show mutual appreciation and consideration for the other person by how you listen and by what you say— and in the way that you say it. Don’t use sarcasm, roll your eyes or sigh. Be kind and considerate in your gestures, facial expressions and tone of voice.

Don’t insult or name call or constantly blame the other person. When you are in a conflict with someone it is so easy to talk down to them— but don’t do it!

Learn to compromise. Compromise is about give and take. It’s about giving up and gaining back. You can’t always be right and you won’t always get what you want in regard to relational resolutions. Compromise is about forfeiting what you want— for what’s best.

Always be working toward a mutual resolve. It’s not about winning the argument— it’s about settling the disagreement and coming to a mutual resolve that’s good for everyone involved.